Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody

Saturday, May 27, 2006
Saturday, May 27, 2006

i guess something is going terribly wrong between us and i've never noticed it until just now.i went to read your blog.wasn't very happy about it.after that was told to read your friendster not forgetting hers.i was feeling so bad.sad and disappointed.i guess it's really ending like what you said.or maybe it has already ended without me knowing.or maybe you're just trying to two-time.i don't know.maybe you say you'll reject him not because there's a me in your heart,instead it's because of a her in your heart?i never know.you never fail to keep every single of your feelings to yourself.i don't even know if there's a space in your heart left for me.i guess no.but what can i do?simply nothing.the words that you once said to me.you might already be saying that to her.you said you love watching me play ball.maybe it's her.that's why you'll be going for every single aljunied's match right?you're not making things better by keeping it to yourself.you're just making zhen and me feel sad,angry and disappointed.i've never felt this way in my 16 years in this world.i guess there isn't a need to write in the foolscap anymore.was wondering if i should tear it out.you're treating me super coldly nowadays.people advised me,asked me not to give up on you unless you say there isn't a me in your heart anymore.i'm treating you nicely now.maybe it's too late.haven't really been treating you nicely.maybe you're just tired.so tired of me that you're changing someone.i don't know the reason.just because you want to feel loved?and i'm not making you feel loved?i can tell you this.i don't know how to express my love for you.don't know how to care for you.but deep down in my heart.i'm doing that and it'll never stop.what about you?i feel like a fucking fool after reading all the conversation between you and her.not all but all that i can read.my name no longer appear as a u in your blog.it appeared as april.and i feel the change.you don't spend time writing things about me and you anymore.i don't mind.maybe there's just nothing to write about.have you been treating me like and idiot who can shower you love and concern whenever you need them?or maybe i should say are you instead of have you been.i really don't know what i can say to you now.maybe you feel nothing after reading all this.but if you do,i'll be glad.that shows that i'm still someone you remember.maybe not the one you love anymore.being someone you hate is alright.at least some where in your heart,there's an enemy like me.a fool like me.be happy.i don't ask for anything else other than you being happy.am i willing to be the fool i've been all along?someone help me please!i haven't been dropping tears for you.now,it's different.guess you're the only one who can make me drop my tears like nobody's business.i don't know if i should end it.you decide.i'm not going to put small font anymore.ilu*

miss u=) `